“My heart goes shut up, shut up!”: Gay marriage to an Indian man—one year on

Abstract

I am Māori, gay and married to an Indian man. We have been married for a year now. I cannot identify my lawfully wedded “partner”^[1] because he comes from a culture that is so ultra-conservative, that to do so would cause for him a deep and certain social death. I do not post pictures of him on social media. He does not have Facebook, but if he did, I would not tag him into any posts. I do not have “married” as my relationship status on Facebook as it would cause questions to be asked that I would not be able to answer without exposing him. Being in a same-sex marriage with an Indian man is difficult to say the least. My heart literally goes “shut up, shut up!”